On the cusp.

It's currently 22 days into December and 9 days before 2010 is gone forever.

What a year. Really.

It started out great. Well. In retrospect. Though I remember doing a dramatic amount of complaining about the fact that school will be missing a lot of good people. That aside, things were great. Probably left-overs from the end of 2009.

But you know how things can seem too good to be true? Yeah well things started to get... sporadic after a while. Some of them my fault while others were sadly un-siam-able.

My sister went into (my god, extremely) prematured labour and after a morbid amount of blood transfusions later gave birth to twins on the 29th of January. That day I almost lost my best friend on account of two incredible life forms. What a surreal feeling. I still don't know where my mind went that night. Though I am happy to say that things (baby wise) got better ever since. I'd like to keep it that way for a long, loooooooong time.

So!

Between then and somewhere towards the middle of 2010 things started to get really disgusting. Pretty sure I brought that upon myself. Struggled with macro-economics in school, flunked its mid-term paper, met a bitch, lost the bitch, got mind-f*cked, lost a boyfriend, graduated. HELLO, UNEMPLOYMENT!

It was pathetic, how I handled all that at once. Worst of all, I tried to justify the shit I did. My "coping mechanism", if you will.

For a long time I believed myself. I was pretty convinced that I had good reason to be doing the stuff I did. I chose not to admit it to anyone but am deciding to put this here tonight. All that crazy shit damn-near destroyed me. Sounds wussy, uh huh. But losing someone you never knew you could love like family because of some horseshit definitely tops the list of stupidest things one can do. So children, remember this: always think of consequences. Also, always say a big F*CK YOU to dodgy situations. Your best bet is to stay away from toxic people.

So now here I am. It's 1:29am on a Wednesday morning and I'm glad to say that I've rectified some of the crap that I've pulled. Not all but I guess I'm working on it. (Like how I'm still very much jobless) I still really want things to return to the way they were. The good stuff of course, but that's just being selfish and unreasonable. I'm hoping that in 9 days, the new year will put an end to me missing the good stuff of 2010.

So here's to 2011. Bring it.